It's news to us
HUGE baby buggies, heavier people and kids on scooters threaten the UK with pedestrian gridlock by 2015.
9/1/2014 6:58:31 AM
FOLLOWING the summer hit Rude by MAGIC!, music listeners have confirmed they are good for pop-reggae songs until the year 2034.
9/1/2014 5:37:33 AM
GEESE are inexplicably convinced that they are hard as nails, it has emerged.
9/1/2014 5:02:39 AM
MEN have convinced themselves that looking at naked celebrity pictures is a legitimate part of keeping up with current affairs.
9/1/2014 4:22:28 AM
THE closing of the football transfer window has been made a public holiday, because no work gets done that day anyway.
9/1/2014 4:04:47 AM
UNIVERSITY graduates trapped in low-paid jobs have resolved to do them in a grudging, sour-faced manner.
9/1/2014 3:52:09 AM
THE prime minister has complained that Cornish surfing is dominated by a clique of wealthy public schoolboys.
8/29/2014 6:41:19 AM
UKIP voters have insisted they did not sign up for a party that was going to include politicians who could almost pass for normal.
8/29/2014 5:42:09 AM
ANGELINA Jolie and Brad Pitt have confirmed that their sex life is over and done by announcing their marriage.
8/29/2014 4:53:51 AM
The UK’s foremost authorities on privacy law have refused to confirm their availability for a working lunch next Friday.
8/29/2014 4:24:56 AM
ARSENE Wenger has reluctantly re-introduced calcium to his team's diet after Olivier Giroud broke a tibia.
8/29/2014 4:07:13 AM
HELLO Kitty is a vengeful cat-human hybrid that feeds on livers, it has been confirmed.
8/29/2014 3:58:11 AM
LONDON’S tallest building has become Europe’s biggest branch of Cancer Research.
8/29/2014 3:50:22 AM
THE Tory MP who defected to UKIP has asked when he gets his free golliwog.
8/28/2014 7:02:49 AM
THE DVLA has a team of seven-year-old girls making its tax discs using colourful card and glitter.
8/28/2014 6:40:58 AM
NK MARIBOR has finally put an end to Celtic's Champions League campaign by removing its players' heads and burning their remains.
8/28/2014 5:28:37 AM
BRITAIN cheered last night as Mary Berry told a hipster to get the hell off her television programme.
8/28/2014 5:11:06 AM
We often used to prank call our teacher, Mrs Babs, although not so much since she had the breakdown.
8/28/2014 4:43:50 AM
WORKERS who demand to be paid are missing out on valuable opportunities to showcase themselves and add to their CVs, it has been claimed.
8/28/2014 4:30:33 AM
AUSTRALIA has said it is willing to join bombing missions in Iraq, or anywhere else, because it loves a good fight.
8/28/2014 3:56:55 AM