It's news to us
THE Conservative Party’s Grand Satanic Ambassador has assured atheists that they are totally wrong.
4/23/2014 5:24:56 AM
Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
Why not spice up things in the bedroom with a bit of role play? You can pretend you're somebody who still wants to have sex with him and he can pretend to be a blind person with no sense of smell.
4/23/2014 4:58:17 AM
AN expert in Photoshop and other graphics software, has found conclusive proof that ghosts exist.
4/23/2014 4:51:12 AM
THIS year's Masterchef is the head cook at Tooting’s Southern-Style Chicken, Kebab, Pizza and Curry takeaway restaurant in south London.
4/23/2014 4:34:45 AM
DAVID Moyes has gone, but who will replace him in the toughest job in the world of the football?
4/23/2014 4:22:32 AM
TOWNS and villages across England are ablaze after giant dragons chose St George’s Day to avenge their murdered comrade.
4/23/2014 3:59:21 AM
THE Duchess of Cambridge has been taken to Australian hearts after a series of increasingly racist comments about New Zealand.
4/23/2014 3:45:41 AM
BRITAIN’S traditional Easter traffic jams have been blighted by heavy rain for the third successive year.
4/22/2014 5:44:16 AM
OASIS founder Noel Gallagher has launched a scathing attack on garden sheds belonging to Damon Albarn and other members of Blur.
4/22/2014 5:34:24 AM
WOMEN are increasingly taking responsibility for the crap activities traditionally done by men.
4/22/2014 5:22:44 AM
THE ‘moral values’ of most people in Britain are based on classic films from the 1970s and 80s, it has been confirmed.
4/22/2014 4:40:53 AM
BRITAIN was a blood-soaked hellhole yesterday as the nation fought to the death over Creme Eggs.
4/22/2014 4:00:40 AM
DAVID Moyes is being fired so hard he will have to take on two full-time jobs just to be unemployed.
4/22/2014 3:44:18 AM
SWEARING education for six-year-olds is to become mandatory.
4/17/2014 6:16:21 AM
PRINCE William has lapsed into behaving like a 16th century tyrant during his tour of Australia.
4/17/2014 5:21:20 AM
SHARKS are really interesting, it has been confirmed.
4/17/2014 4:36:57 AM
SIR Alex Ferguson is to auction off his extensive collection of human skulls.
4/17/2014 4:20:44 AM
TESCO has warned the people of the UK that they will pay with their lives for abandoning it.
4/17/2014 4:07:51 AM
THE Archbishop of Canterbury has given thanks to Jesus, who gave his life so that we could have not just a Monday off work but a Friday too.
4/17/2014 3:50:50 AM
MILLIONS of men are about to pretend a shaving accident caused them to remove their beard.
4/16/2014 5:57:30 AM